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Satirical Essays Love

There are many things in this world that I just cannot believe. The very first thing on that list is the number of poor, cynical beings who don't believe in something that is crucial to our survival. Some people actually don't believe in love! What's even worse are the people who don't believe in the idea of teen love, or love at first sight. Love is everywhere! Love is all around us! Every day, girls are finding their prince charming, or knight in shining armor. Everywhere you look, in stories, and in movies, there is love. The facts are right under our noses, and some people just cannot see them. Love, especially teen love, should be considered the most genuine type of love out there.

I mean, think of it – High school is where it counts! You're stuck in the next best thing from jail for six hours a day: what better way to kill time than to scope out the cute boys and girls? Who cares about science class unless we're learning about the chemistry of love? THAT'S what we should be learning: How to get the girl/boy 101, the basics of attraction with Mr. Brown. It's the only crucially important thing in this life.

And in English class – Who cares about all those boys trapped on an island? BORING! We should read love stories: books that show us the value of love and relationships. As Mrs. Stephenie Meyer proves in her wonderful novel, Twilight, a relationship is crucially important for our survival. The protagonist, Bella Swan, was depressed for months after her man left her. This novel obviously teaches us important values. She ignored her friends and family and became a zombie when her boyfriend broke up with her. That's why relationships are important, boys and girls. Oh, and the only work of Shakespeare that we really should study in class is Romeo and Juliet. Greatest love story of all time! Love at first sight, and they died for each other. How romantic! We should also analyze his sonnets (love poems. So cute!) instead of depressing plays like Hamlet, or Macbeth, Or The Merchant of Venice – I mean, who cares about money (unless it's your boyfriend of 2 whole months spending hundreds on you, like every man should)?

Also in class, let's just watch old animated Disney movies, like Cinderella, or Sleeping Beauty. Take Cinderella, for example: she fell in love with a man after one romantic night of dancing and music, and then was betrothed to him the very next day! Oh, and might I mention that this man just HAPPENED to be Prince Charming himself? High five Cinderelly! This is a PERFECT example of love at first sight! All the more reason to blindly follow your gut and jump into relationships, because you never know who'll turn out to be a handsome prince! Secondly, turn your attention to Miss Aurora from 'Sleeping Beauty'. She didn't even meet her prince before she fell in love with him, at least, not in person. They fell in love 'Once Upon A Dream'! Ah, isn't that just SO romantic? Relationships are just SO easy! Furthermore, Cinderella and Aurora 'just happened' to be teenagers, as with Romeo and Juliet (Coincidence? I think NOT) – Which just goes to show us how teen love is the most genuine, most true, and pure of any kind of love out there. That infatuation, the way two teenagers can be so smitten after only a few hours… Truly magical!

Love songs should be played more on the radio – in fact, why not just dedicate entire radio stations TO love songs? That's all anyone should want to hear anyways. There should be at least four to eight cute-lovey-dovey-sappy love songs every hour on any radio station. The more the merrier, I say. We shouldn't let anyone ever forget about love, not even for a second. Also, no one cares about the commercials on radio stations, or the news (Unless it's about shiny diamond rings, or chocolate, or flowers, of course). Also, those icky break-up songs should be completely banned from the radio stations. I mean, really? Why be so unhappy?

Like the king from Cinderella, who says "Love? Pah! Just a boy meeting a girl under the right conditions."  Inconceivable. How can he not see that that's exactly what love is! With all the facts right under our nose, it's so hard to believe that there are actually people in this world who actually think it doesn't exist, or worse, think that there is something better than love! As the Miracle worker, Miracle Max from the country of Florence says "True love is the greatest thing in the world. Except for a nice MLT- Mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe." Madness! Complete Madness!

I think it would do us all good if we took some advice from some of the great people of our time, like Stephenie Meyer, or Cinderella and Aurora. Teen love is all around us, if only you'd open your eyes and look! Prince charming is right around the corner girls. Teen love is the most genuine form of love out there, hands down. The poor cynical beings that do not believe are only bringing the rest of us down. Love is completely real.

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